ugh i hate this. having just come back from lund, and missing it so much - the nice weather, the quietness and the easy life. it was been so hot and humid here, and my house is so cluttered and messy i'm not used to it. went to OIR today to file some claims, and the noise from the motorcycles and the MRT gave me a headache. no kidding. then it started pouring super heavily as i was about to go home. and my mom just came into my room to nag to me about how i should have started saving money for my future house, retirement blah blah.. how i will get sick when i grow older and need to foot medical bills... and how most people in singapore need like 30 years to work to pay off just their housing loan blah blah blah. and she kept repeating "singapore is not like sweden, the people there pay tax and they have everything taken care of etc etc. singapore is not like sweden singapore is not like sweden" YES I KNOW SINGAPORE IS NOT LIKE SWEDEN. it's like a jarring fact swimming right in front of my eyes can. thanks to her, it completed my bad-to-start-with day, and i really feel a sense of despair now about how i am probably stuck here forever, working my ass off in a small office cubicle with harsh glaring lights and growing old worrying about how to pay the bills. FML


i've been trying to sound excited that i'm back in singapore for my friends' sake. they are afterall, the only reason i am excited (and maybe for the food). but besides that, nothing could be further from the truth. i didn't expect this, i honestly thought i would be happy when i stepped back home. now i just feel like that girl in the belljar.