Ctrl+Z.

It's painful to admit, but my intuition is usually right.

So what am I hoping for? To erase the events from my blog is to erase them from my life?

I wish I could just stop making things complicated for myself.

She's so beautiful.


Okay after all the nostalgic posts, it's time for a happy one!


This is what I did on the third day of CNY:
I would buy a curry potato to eat for recess. Cheap but nice! 40 cents only!

Marie's room is so pretty! Hot pink and bright orange walls. We played Uno Stacko and Blackjack there. (I won $6!)

Headed down to Terence's house, and we drove to Lin Xin's house from there where we stayed for the night. Played Blackjack again with these people and I lost alot of money! About $15. Moral of the story: Gambling doesn't pay!

Then Linxin's maid brought out the ice-cream. (She has like 4 tubs at home?!) And of course, I attacked Paddle Pop! My favourite (: I didn't know it came in a tub-form. Now I know... Cold Storage sells it. Muahaha.

BEFORE

AFTER!

It's saying "Eatttttt meeeeee..."

I felt very guilty for finishing half the tub.

After countless Wii and mahjong games, we felt we needed an activity that was not mentally nor physically draining (Wii is damn tiring). Soooooo...

Ta-dah! Err it's the World Trade Center, built out of mahjong tiles in memory of it. There's a huge plane on the left of it, and the White House is at the bottom right. And Huixin went to build a totally random Leaning Tower of Pisa, which is not even leaning -.-

Our masterpiece!

I want to skate tomorrow but I think the skaters will be tending the skating booth so I can't. Then there's the gala dinner at night. I've been waiting so badly for the next skating session to come so I can master the Rocket, Axis and Crazy. Oh well. Next week then.

Time to get down to biz law.

Everything he says still applies to me now. Except now I know better.

It's damn loser of me to even be typing the above stupid two sentences. Argh. Stop it stop it.


Sudden urges dominate your attention today and won't let up. You're used to small-scale obsessions, so this should not be too difficult to control, but you will need to break away resolutely.

Should I be the one who lets up instead?


There are so many firsts this year! This year was the first year my mom went with us to visit my grandma(dad's side) since she got married! Because they never got along well so my mom refrained from doing so. Till now. I was pleasantly surprised and puzzled when she told my dad to wait for her to change just as about we were about to leave the house. Could tell she was quite worried on the way there but everything turned out fine. I'm so happy that they're finally on talking terms! Like this unspoken wall which I've always wondered about since young finally dissolved today. And I'm glad that there's such a thing as CNY which allows me to visit all my relatives once every year even though there may be awkward moments sometimes. Because if it weren't for this occasion, I bet I would never see them at all. I don't talk to them much but it feels nice to just see that they're all doing fine.


To grasp.

Reunion dinner wasn't so bad. I guess I'm getting so used to the awkwardness that it doesn't feel awkward anymore. Anyway, this was the first year in about eight years that I didn't spend the afternoon of new year's eve with friends. Instead I was with my sister. It's not a good nor bad thing, just that I kinda miss it, seeing all those students crowding town enthusiastically, treasuring their precious holiday. Plus I wonder what this says about the shifting of my priorities and relationships, whether I want it to change or not. Of course the reason why I'm not spending today with friends may also be because now that I've only twelve hours of lessons a week, I can afford to go out with friends anytime I want, unlike in the past, where free days were far and few.

It's so annoying how I keep referring to the past (yeah I know) but I can't help it seeing how much things are changing around me.

I was telling Chi-hao the other day that there is a difference between university and JC/secondary school friends. Friends you make in university, they only know the good side of you, having known you just for a short period of time. Naturally, they may at times seem more fun to hang out with because first, there's no emotional baggage, second, you wouldn't be as bored with them because you just met them and there's the novelty factor, and thirdly, you share a common circle of uni friends who are as fun as them because of the above reasons. Whereas for JC or secondary school friends, you've spent years with them, grew up with them, changed with them, been through gruelling times together, quarrelled and made up again - there's a special connection which has been forged, whether you're bored with them or not(which happens quite often in my case, but nonetheless I still really truly appreciate them!). So anyway, I was telling him, sometimes I felt it would be better if I didn't come to the same uni as Amanda and Dorene. Because I feel like they're not my JC friends anymore, they're becoming more and more like my uni friends. I feel more comfortable now with Huifen and Marie and all the other girls whom I don't meet as often. Recently I've been feeling a distance with Amanda and Dorene that's hard to explain. I've felt it at Bondue Bash and I've felt it again yesterday when I was dining with them at Bistro Delifrance.

Okay so it was kinda weird to invite Jonathan along for our girl-talk sessions but it's a long story and I couldn't possibly say "no". But Dorene and Amanda were all fine with it and so we headed down to have our lunch. It was a total disaster! I thought they would engage him in our conversations since we all knew each other but nooooo, they started gossipping and the worst part was that they explicitly told him that he couldn't be let in on our secrets and started speaking in codes in front of him. For the entire three hours we were there! Okay this might sound like I'm bitching about them but that's really not my intention! I just feel so so so bad. Argh. Yeah, and besides feeling bad on behalf of him, I was not very comfortable with all that gossipping myself. Maybe because I didn't know the relevant parties personally, but to devour each and every piece of infomation with such eagerness for three whole hours?! Someone tell me - was I ever like that? Maybe I'm getting old and losing interest in such things, but yeah, mild casual gossip is fine but to indulge so much time in intensive gossipping is totally meaningless to me now. Sometimes I feel I don't know who my friends are anymore, but I would try, really, even if it is to gain an interest in what I detest, even if I have to assume another personality to accomodate them, just to keep them by my side. I just wish things could be like before.

See. There I go again comparing to the past.