Email.

Subject: Read this if you're fed up with the administration... and even if you're not

Hi everyone...

I'm writing to you about an issue that, originated with Stageit, but fundamentally concerns all of us at SMU.

Please take the time to read this, and pass it on to all your friends.

It's time for the SMU community to remember the promises that were made to us when we joined this relatively new and unestablished school, and ask if these promises have been reneged upon.

As you may have seen from Arts Fest posters around school, Stageit was supposed to be a part of Arts Fest. We were originally scheduled for 3 shows over 2 nights.

Less than a week before our scheduled show dates, the administrative staff previewed our play, and "suggested" to us that we could use an extra night of rehearsals... (This extra night was to be created, by cancelling our first two shows in favour of a night of rehearsals)
They had what they felt were valid reasons, and I had what I felt were valid reasons for the show to continue as scheduled. However, when I told them of my decision for the show to proceed as scheduled, I was informed that this "suggestion" was in fact a mandate.

School administration had pulled the plug on our opening night. 2 out of 3 shows.

The ensuing cross-exchange was long and bloody... but the administrators had several interesting points to make...

(Details which I'm leaving out)

... This goes so much deeper than one club and one show....
Administrators who ride roughshod over student opinion, and place "face-value" above material issues,
these things strike right at the heart of what SMU was built upon, an enterprising spirit, passion, belief in a cause...


As far as I know, SMU students don't take kindly to threats...

Stageit's show will go on.
Tuesday night will NOT be a rehearsal... it will instead be a private preview.
A private preview that I am opening up to all of you......

If you, like me.... came to this school because of the touted "difference".....
if you came believing that you would be in an environment that challenged you to fight for what you believe in....
if you came knowing that you couldn't necessarily count on prestige and school ranking, but damn it all you came anyway.......
And if you came, you saw, and you were disappointed....

Then please, come for our preview. Our cast needs and audience, but the administration has refused to publicize. Everyone deserves a chance to perform for people who will watch, and enjoy and NOT judge.

And when the day comes that people won't step forward to perform for fear of judgement, or refuse to compete in sports for fear of losing, or refuse to speak up for a cause for fear of reprisal....

Then we'll see the day that we have no artistes, no sports-people, no activists, no student leaders.... And no soul.

Thank you for making this journey with me.
I hope to see you at our preview.

Venue: SMU Arts and Cultural Centre
Date: 29th Jan
Time: 1900H and 2100H

Love,
Tabbi

Everyone says that SMU is gradually losing its uniqueness because it's just becoming another school where grades are ranked our top priority, and all those advertisements about "being different" - they're just a front, a marketing campaign. I used to think that too, but having been in here for a few months, I have noticed traits which are especially strong in students here. Competitiveness. Competition feeds on each other, and inside the glass walls of our city campus it's even stronger. It's present in everyone, rushing for their classes, laptops in arms, purpose in minds. Passion. Strong desires to do our best, to excel in our respective sports or cultural activities, and even in class, passion to voice our views, passion even to challenge the profs. When the workload gets too tough, when the competition makes life too lonely, it's people like these who dare to fight who remind me why I'm here. I totally admire them and hope that it will somehow rub onto me someday. I must admit, life here can seem pretty pretentious sometimes. I was at the Patron's Day party yesterday, and the dancefloor was packed. And it was just an empty space in school! Can you imagine? There were people drunk and high everywhere, so happy, stumbling around, holding on to each other. At that point of time, I was just feeling amused that this scene could actually occur in school on a normal school day. But then again, I shouldn't be surprised. Like the rest of the people here, they were just trying to fulfill their desire to live their lives as intensely as they could, working hard and playing harder.


I'm aching all over! Friday was a jam-packed day. After my BGS meeting and class, I went to watch the concert put up by Indancity, the modern dance group in my school. They were not bad, I especially liked the one about the two sisters. The rest of the dances, I felt, were too commercial, too pretty, for the underlying mood for the dance to really show through.

Salsa is so cool I'm devastated that the Intermediate classes are all filled up. Only have myself to blame for being so indecisive and last-minute. :(

After the concert I went to do some rock-climbing! Fun, fun, fun. But my shoulder blades and arms are aching so bad now. Hope I'm getting muscles haha. At night I went for urban-blading which was totally adrenaline-rushing and blood-pumping especially for me because it was such a challenging route and I fell down twice. HARD. The first time was just outside school where the slope was. I didn't know that the slope diverted into a gentler slope and the rest was just an edge. And so, smartass me chose to innocently follow Jonathan and Xuanyi, the pro-skaters who were going to do a jump off the edge. I honestly didn't know it was the edge there and so when I saw the almost 1m-high drop, I was like oh shit. Seriously. There was no more time to U-turn so I just closed my eyes, hoped for the best and jumped. Needless to say what happened next.

The second time was after we had eaten at Glutton's Bay and I was going down the slope under the bridge near the Esplanade. At the end of the slope I was trying to jump over the drain. Somehow I didn't make it, and fell with such an impact that I rolled a few times before I stopped. Now my back is bruised! But at least I didn't fall in the drain. Phew. Damn exciting right. Ahaha. I'm quite relieved I'm still alive considering the number of times I couldn't stop in time and just zoomed out across the road. Luckily there were no cars at that time. Well once a taxi honked at me but that's it. In short, we bladed from school to Esplanade to Chinatown to Tanjong Pagar to Raffles Place back to school. And I survived!




The great NYRs.

My New Year resolutions! I know it's a little late but I spent a long time thinking about what my priorities and new goals will be this year! So here they are:

1) Be happy, here and now.
2) Make new friendships, maintain existing ones, and find back lost ones.
3) Talk to my family more often.
4) Get my license before I go to Florida (:
5) Complete all my 80 hours of CIP.

And the unofficial resolutions:

6) Continue to balance school and play well. Which is not a resolution because it is a must!
7) Hmm maybe go back to church? Which has been my new year resolution for so many years that I don't put it down anymore because I never get around to doing so anyway. Maybe this year.

How do you measure if you have fulfilled intangible resolution like my first three? You can't. People only write down intangible resolutions because whether you've fulfilled it or not is subjective, and thus it cuts you more slack. So if you really want to fulfill your resolutions, make them tangible. For example, for 3), I should write something along the lines of "Talk to my family for at least two hours per week". Something measurable. However, if you're like the commitment-phobic person I am, then you, like me, will choose to leave it the way it is. My resolutions are there for me to try to fulfill, and not to fulfill. So what's the point for people like us to make new year resolutions anyway? I guess we want to know what we should be doing, but don't want to face the disappointment for failing to do so. Because with an intangible resolution, you can never fail, but your success can never be determined either.

I can't wait to major in psychology next year.


My January is gonna be so incredibly busy. This week is considered to be free yet I already have to deal with so many things, the sponsors, the One Life Experience, skating activities and whatever others I have. I have to make sure I have my phone with me all the time cos I'll never know when the companies will call. It's kinda exciting I guess, the way challenges are.

I think I've mentioned this quite a few times but I seriously have to learn how to appreciate the present. I think it's a psychological condition everyone has, but mine is just slightly worse. I'm always looking back to the past, always comparing, always dissatisfied with what's happening currently even though I know that in the future I will be looking back at the times now and miss it.

I guess no matter how bad things get, familiarity makes it at least comfortable in some way. Like how some kidnap victims actually grow to like their kidnappers after a prolonged period of time. That's not to say my past classes were bad. Though I did complain about them a fair bit in the past, they were actually quite enjoyable, which is why I miss my friends like crazy now.

Besides, the past is always better. If there's a room in my mind to store all my memories, I'm sure that it's lit with rose-coloured lights, because my impression of everything in the past is better than it really was. And I know it. That's weird huh. Like I know my impression is wrong, the past wasn't that great, but I still don't change it. A small example: the other time I went to Waraku Pasta with Huifen, I tried this dish "Pasta with Squid and Plum Paste" (I wanted to try something unique). It was way too sour and quite impossible to finish but a few hours after I was done with the meal, my impression of it was that it was a good dish afterall. And if I'm not careful, I might eat it again next time. Yet, another part of me knows that it's not, and I cannot eat it next time. Okay I sound schizo.

I'm stopping here because I don't think I would like to see where this discussion leads to.


First day of 2008: fireworks, stayed over at fen's, frisbee, badminton and table-tennis with marie, shuwen, fen and her brothers.

Second day of 2008: dentist, sponsorship duties, John Grisham.

Third day of 2008: first driving lesson.

Yup, so much for the plans of entering the new year with a blast, partying on the beaches of Siloso. Ended up with a rather mundane start to the year, which I don't mind actually, since I don't see the point of celebrating the beginning of a new year. Okay, maybe I do, but I don't feel it. It just reminds me that there is now another year to reminiscise about.

I had a thousand thoughts running through my head while I was sitting on the dentist's chair but I can't remember any now.

I wonder if dentists ever wish that they could remove our tongues temporarily because I think they are such a hindrance when they(the dentists) are working.

I don't want to grow older!