SPARKLE. & FADE.

yun
2 march ats smss ajc smu
dance smiles like these

12:55 PM, Sunday, December 30, 2007

It's better loving someone from afar, knowing that your love will never be requited, than loving someone who may love you back, and then realising you never really loved that person at all.

3:01 PM, Thursday, December 27, 2007

Hahs. Decided to get a new blogskin and a tagboard which is kind of redundant because as far as I know, only three people know the existence of my blog. Two I gave the url personally to, and Sarah found her way here by herself, I have no idea how.

I get distracted so easily. Was about to go watch my show but ended up refurbishing my blog instead. Shall delay no longer - on to Gossip Girl!

xoxo ;)

2:39 PM,

Christmas, much awaited, has come and gone.

The day itself isn't such a big deal, but rather it's the days preluding it and the festive atmosphere that thrills me.

Nonetheless, I appreciate the peaceful three days I spent together with my family, and also having lots of "alone-time", which I haven't had since I returned to Singapore. Despite being incredibly bored and having a painful toothache, I kinda enjoyed it. It's rejuvenating in a way.

Prior to that, Christmas parties!

This was the Smux party at Leonard's house, where we played mahjong and Wii throughout the night.

Diana says she's still in the midst of organising our LTB Christmas Party, though it's already after Christmas, and thus, I don't think it will materialise.

As for our Slumber Party, it was fun. Though it would have been better if everyone got more drunk. I guess it's only the SMU people who have a habit of throwing caution to the winds and totally letting our hair down when it comes to drinks. The rest were abit, er, conservative in their consumption. Photos for that will have to come another day because I'm still waiting for Marie to send them over.

I'm going back to Gossip Girl now. It's good.

4:23 PM, Monday, December 17, 2007

I guess it's just not my story this time round.

3:21 AM, Monday, December 3, 2007

It all started with a dream.

You know, I've always felt that I live half of my life in dreams? It's not so different from the real-life actually, because not only are my dreams the continuation of the night before's, but also, I can remember them vividly and reflect on them in my real-life. It's much more interesting because you never know where they take you - I once studied in a seaside school with aquamarine windows and spiral staircases for five nights straight - but in that sense, it can be scary too, especially if some of your dreams actually do come true, and lead your real-life into arrays. Or sometimes, it might just be self-fulfilling prophecies.

So it started with a dream, and now that it has ended and I'll probably never see him again, it shall continue with them. Why am I suddenly blogging this today? Because I had another dream last night where I was scouring shops with him for a vintage teapot, and while doing so, chatted with him about many things in life. And I woke up understanding more. What he said may just be what my subconsciousness thinks he feels, since dreams are made by my own mind afterall, but in the very least this dream helped to push my subconsciousness thoughts to the surface. I guess they are helping me now to make up for how they damned me in the past. They got so real till I lost line between reality and dreams - the two sides just merged as I saw familiar images happening in real life. The deva-ju.

But who's to say what's real and what's not? The differentiating line is thin, judging from how one can affect another so eaily. Besides, looking at a bigger picture, there are too many dimensions and possibilities for us to even tell. A classmate of mine blogged about this last year, which made me feel better in a way, knowing that I was not the only one bothered by this. The possibility of other dimensions used to upset me greatly as a child, lying on my bed, trying to fall asleep. I used to imagine that there was a giant, and we were only fragments of his imagination or dream, we only believed we were real. When he woke up, we would be gone, except we wouldn't know it. And when he slept, we would continue living. In fact as I grew older I realise that it could be true in some ways. Aren't we humans all fragment of God's creation and imagination?

After I read The Five People You Meet in Heaven, its idea of death grew on me. What if our whole life was a dream and we would only start living after we die ie. woke up? Hmm I don't know why I keep linking it to religion but it's true in the sense that if Heaven exists, our whole life of say, a hundred years, would truly only be a dream and memory, compared to the eternity you would spend in paradise. Or would you say paradise is the dream?

On a more immediate level, what's real-life and what's dream-life? How do you know the life you are living in full consciousness is real? How can you be sure? How do you prove it?

5:26 PM, Sunday, December 2, 2007

Exams are over! Although FA was better than I expected, I couldn't finish the paper and other people thought it was easy. That means I'm still screwed, by virtue of the bellcurve. Oh well, I can worry about that later.

It's been ages since I hung out with Huifen and Manda. Went to watch 30 Days of Night, then headed to Holland V's Essential Brew. It's a really great place to chill, with comfy cushions and yummy-licious desserts. OMG I JUST HAD DEVA-JU. Anyway, photos.

This is called Rainbow Psychedelic. It's actually cheesecake in 5 different flavours (Strawberry, Almond, Oreo, Lemon and Green Tea) served in shot-glasses! Pretty (:

I'm going to Bangkok the day after tomorrow. I haven't packed, haven't changed currency, haven't planned the itinery, I'm afraid we'll get lost, I'm afraid Peter can't get his visa done. It's all so exciting and scary at the same time. Yep, even though I've gone overseas with friends before, it's usually at least with the school. This time we're really alone. It's gonna be such an adventure.