Prelims are just over.

It's surreal to write that. Seems like the O-level prelims were just over not too long ago and I was out celebrating with Youyi, Jessica and the rest. And now, another chapter of my life is almost over, will be over, in a months' time.

I am so not ready for what is looming around the corner.


You told me I was a doll at the window, an innocent face peeking out from behind the curtains, watching the world go by. Yet there was an unfathomable depth in those eyes, a striking sadness deep down in the pools of black. Or perhaps, it was some kind of weariness, glazing over all too often. It was almost as if I had seen past all the sufferings and treaded through all the sorrows of the world. It was something you never understood. You said I was too young.

You told me you always thought I belonged to somewhere else, other than here. I loved looking out, watching the clouds drift by, and counting the stars like it was the last night on earth. You said that you always wondered what was it I saw that you could not see. You would do anything to understand why I get pulled away from reality sometimes. I tried explaining, but my words are too weak.

You told me the more you knew about me, the more you realise you didn't know.

Remember when I told you my entire life was in a mess? Filled with mistakes and regrets of following the rational path. Yet it's something I can't break away from. It's an endless maelstorm, dragging me down. Day by day, life grinds by. School, work, CCA commitments and meetings with friends, so much that I didn't care anymore what happened. Everything was happening too quickly, it flew past in a blur, barely leaving me time to breathe, much less to think of what could have been.